Was Lillian Dangerous?
The reader might ask, "Was Lillian dangerous?”
Perhaps the better question is, "Which of Lillian's personalities were dangerous?" The question itself reflects that the reader has entered the world of multiplicity by thinking of Lillian's personalities as separate individuals.
Throughout history, persons with more than one identity have been depicted in literature (Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, 1886) and film (Split, 2016) as dangerous, but are they or are such representations stereotypes of individuals afflicted with multiple personality disorder?
Lillian’s personality was unassertive, self-deprecating and shy. Lillian feared anger. But where there has been trauma, there will be rage. Lillian's mind created personalities that held her rage, yet none of these altered states harmed anyone except for Lillian herself.
Suicide Attempts
Lillian survived nine suicide attempts, the most dangerous of which was committed by the personality of Jackie, who believed that Lillian must be murdered in order to free her from satanic possession.
Jackie wrote, "Doctor always said we or Lil isn't possessed but maybe it just depends on what Doctor we talk to... Lil is possessed by us. The only way to get rid of us is killing us.”
Following the writing of this note, Jackie enacted a series of brutal attempts on Lillian's life, the most serious of which has been described in the Possession blog. Lillian deliberately harmed herself in other ways including pouring caustic drain cleaner on her wrist and forearm with the intent of burning her flesh.
The personality Julie explained, "Since I don't cut her now, Lil has to hurt herself some other way…by pouring drain cleaner on her arms to burn out the bad.”
Lillian repeated this ritual multiple times leaving her arm and wrist horribly scarred.
Lillian’s Male Personalities
Believing that it would take the strength of a man to kill those who abused her, Lillian's mind created three male personalities - Lee, Buddy, and Pat.
It was Lee who attempted to protect 17-year-old Lillian from being repeatedly raped by the man who hired her to help load his vegetable truck for a roadside stand. Lee recounted the scene "... She worked for a man named Mr. Sampson at a truck patch near home. He forced her into the shed and started pulling off her clothes. Next thing I know he is rapin' her... I fought like a maniac... Once I took his gun and shot at him but I missed.”
Later, Lee revealed that he subsequently carried an unregistered semi automatic Browning pistol that he bought from a drug dealer at a park near Lillian's home.
Lee's role was to protect Lillian but he was nonetheless potentially dangerous. It’s worth noting that Lee had a gentle side and often spent time with James, teaching him the art of woodcarving, an activity that Lillian’s husband joined alongside James and Lee.
Twelve-year-old Buddy was another one of Lillian's male personalities. Buddy was obsessed with the thought of committing homicide. Buddy also believed that wearing a uniform would give him the authority to 'kill bad people’. "I was going to kill somebody once but I decided not to... too messy... all that blood… Buddy wants to get some uniforms and ammunition for a vigilante group with other kids and go kill some bad people.”
Pat was a male personality created to murder Lillian's sister and mother. "Now let me go kill them as soon as we can. I feel female but it will take a male,” Pat wrote in his journal.
It wasn't only Lillian's male personalities who were dangerous.
Rose, Lillian's most volatile female personality was unquestionably threatening. While Lillian was in the hospital, Dr. Milton Robinson hypnotized Lillian and put Rose in a pill bottle to contain her rage. Jean recounts how when Dr. Robinson handed the bottle to Lillian after a year, Rose emerged, hurling the bottle across the room while swearing and shrieking vehemently. “Her shrill voice pierced the relative quietness of the ward and her obscenities filled the air. Staff rushed to the room. Rose spat. She tore wildly out of the room screeching. She ducked into the lounge, twisting and dodging. Dr. Robinson landed a flying tackle as Rose headed for the elevator. They grabbed her and wrestled her to the floor. She was a fighter! Arms and legs were flailing at her would be subduers. Rose aimed at groins, faces and eyes, spitting, scratching, biting and kicking savagely.”
Attempts on James’ Life
Worse yet, Rose attempted to kill Lillian's 10-year-old son James. "She (Rose) dissolved pills in Kool-Aid and handed the glass to James. One of the other personalities (Pat) knocked the glass out of James's hand. Rose thought a kid would be better off dead than having to endure what she had experienced." Later Rose suggested a poster reading, Stop Child-Abuse! Kill a Kid!
Girl With a Gun
While under Dr. Richard Kluft's care, Lillian executed a disturbing drawing - Girl With A Gun.
Hospital staff were uncomfortable with the image of a young woman pointing a gun. The charge nurse ordered that Lillian place the drawing out of sight.
Although the drawing was signed by Lillian, the image portrayed wasn’t anything like the 45-year-old, 5’ 2", left handed woman who created it. The girl aiming the gun was slender with shoulder length black hair. She steadies the gun with her left hand while grasping the trigger with the index finger of her right hand. Her right eye is darkened.. The barrel of the gun is pointed directly at the viewer.
Clearly the image was not of Lillian. With the possible exception of Esther, none of Lillian's female personalities intended to use a gun.
Lillian's journal gave no clue as to the identity of the Girl With A Gun. Later, Jean recounted an earlier incident during which Esther left Jean's house intending to drive home to New York. "... Lillian phoned me (Jean). She had lost a couple of days but now she was back in control of the body. She was somewhere in Ohio. Was she on her way to her mother's house? There was a gun on the front seat of the car beside her and she didn't know what to do. I told her to take the gun back and return it to the store where she bought it.”
Later while in the hospital, Lillian wrote, "I wish I had enough nerve to use the gun in the hand of the girl in my picture that I drew - and not on me.”
Pure Rage
Prior to her discharge from the hospital, Lillian wrote, "I have felt rage lately, more intense hatred and hurt and anger. Pure Rage. I want to get that feeling of rage against mother and my sister so that when I go to stab her and stab her and stab her I will feel what I’m doing instead of just doing it like a robot.”
After her discharge from the hospital, Lillian's half-sister disclosed that their mother Jessica was in a nursing home. Lillian's mother had an order in place too prevent Lillian from visiting. Lillian drove to the nursing home anyway, parking her car outside the Guard House. With a knife concealed in her purse, she simply followed a visiting family through the gate. Once inside it was easy to find Jessica's room. Looking for a redhead, Lillian could not believe what she saw when she found her mother, white haired and sitting in a wheelchair looking out the window. Shocked by how old her mother looked, she realized how many years it had been since she had last seen her. Now fearless, Lillian walked boldly towards Jessica fully intending to kill her. Jessica did not recognize her. In that moment, instead of hatred, Lillian felt nothing. Lillian turned and walked out of the nursing home leaving her feelings behind.
Was Lillian dangerous?
In the end Lillian did not actually harm anyone other than herself.
